Joe had been in IT for nearly twenty years. He knew the industry. He was good at his job. And then the layoff hit — with his daughter seven months old and his wife now the sole provider.
What followed was depression, obsessive job searching, low energy, and the slow realization that the way he was coping was costing him the exact thing he was trying to protect: time with his family.
In this episode of the Working Dads Podcast, Joe — IT veteran, stepfather, and father of three — sits down with host Johnathan Grzybowski for one of the most honest conversations the show has produced about what job loss does to a man, what recovery actually looks like, and the statement that stopped the conversation cold: I would take a pay cut to be more present with my kids.
Obsessive Job Searching Is Not the Same as Providing
When Joe lost his job with a seven-month-old at home, his response was to go all in on finding the next one. Phone. Laptop. Every waking hour. Applications, LinkedIn, job boards — a relentless cycle that felt like action but was quietly destroying his presence at home.
“It came to the point that it wasn’t fair for my daughter. Even though she was seven months old, it’s something I’m always gonna remember. I was losing time with her.”
His wife finally called it out directly. She told him: dedicate some time to job searching but balance it, because she’s not going to be this young forever.
That confrontation was not comfortable. But it was the turning point.
For working dads who are between jobs or grinding through financial stress: obsessing over the problem while being physically present but mentally absent is not a strategy. It is a slow subtraction from your family. Structure the search. Protect the time with your kids. You cannot get the seven-month-old version of your daughter back.
Movement Is Medicine — But Only If You’re Actually Present While Doing It
Joe was going to the gym five days a week during the worst months of his layoff period. He was doing everything right on paper. And still taking two naps a day, running on low energy, and feeling like he was losing ground.
The gym helped his body. It did not address what was actually happening in his head.
What finally shifted things was more basic: going fishing with a buddy. Getting outside. Breaking the loop of screens and applications with something that required him to be physically present somewhere other than his couch or his desk.
“Movement is very big for me. If you’re not sitting on the couch all the time, you’re gonna see more results than anything.”
For working dads navigating stress — job loss, financial pressure, career transition — the gym is a starting point, not a solution. What you need is not just physical movement but environmental change. Get out of the house. Do something with your hands. Find someone to talk to who isn’t a screen.
No Job Will Pay You Enough to Replace This Time
This is the statement that defined Joe’s episode of the Working Dads Podcast.
“No job in my life is gonna pay me enough or give me an opportunity to eliminate time with my kids and my family.”
He went further: “I would honestly take a pay cut to spend more time with my kids. I see my kids growing very fast and it’s emotional for me because I know one day they’re not gonna be this small or want to be around me as much as they are right now.”
This is not financial advice. Joe is not dismissing the reality of bills and mortgages and the genuine pressure of providing for a family. But he is naming something that most working dads feel but rarely say out loud: there is a number on a paycheck that is not worth what it costs you in presence.
Knowing that number — knowing where your line is — is one of the most important things a working dad can figure out.
What Working Dads Can Take From Joe
Joe has been laid off four times. He has built side businesses, launched a fitness coaching brand, and is currently developing an income stream in payroll services alongside his full-time IT career. He is a stepfather and a father of three and one of the most emotionally honest guests to sit across from Johnathan on the Working Dads Podcast.
His bedtime routine — asking his kids how their day was, giving them the opening to talk, being curious about their world even when he’s exhausted — is the simplest and most powerful investment any working dad can make.
And his parting advice to new fathers: take a breath. Get the thousand-foot view. You’re not perfect. Nobody is. Just keep coming back.
Working Dads is the podcast for fathers figuring out work, family, and everything in between. Hosted by Johnathan Grzybowski, co-founder of Penji. New episodes every week.
