Steve and his wife were both from LA. Then he took a job offer that required a move to New York — with a one-year-old in tow, away from every family member and friend they had ever known.
What followed was a career that took his family through New Jersey, fifteen years in San Francisco, back to New York, through COVID, to San Diego, and eventually back to California. Multiple cities. Multiple transitions. One marriage that survived all of it. One son who is now out of college and — by every measure Steve uses — turned out exactly right.
In this episode of the Working Dads Podcast, Steve — a C-suite tech marketing executive with a career spanning major advertising and technology companies — sits down with host Johnathan Grzybowski to reflect on what decades of career-driven relocation teaches you about marriage, parenting, and what actually sticks.
Communication Is the Only Thing That Keeps a Marriage Intact Through Relocation
Moving across the country with a one-year-old is hard enough. Doing it multiple times — dragging your family from coast to coast as your career demands — requires something more than love. It requires ongoing, honest, unglamorous communication about how everyone is actually doing.
Steve was direct about this. The moves were hard. The travel was harder. There were times his wife was carrying the parenting load alone while he was on a plane. There were seasons where the family’s rhythm was completely disrupted by a career transition.
What kept it together was the consistent return to honesty. Not pretending it was fine when it wasn’t. Not bringing every work stress home. Finding the middle ground between transparency and protection — letting his wife know the reality of what work demanded without making it her burden to carry.
For working dads who travel or relocate for their careers: your partner is not your employee and not your therapist. But she is your partner. The conversation about how the sacrifice is landing — for her, for the kids, for the marriage — needs to happen before it becomes resentment.
Align on the Big Things Early and Protect That Alignment
Steve and his wife were aligned from the beginning on the major decisions — how they managed money, how they approached their son’s education and discipline, what their values were as a family. That alignment was not accidental. It was something they discussed and returned to.
“When it comes to the really big picture stuff with kids and their education and how we handle them — we’ve always been a hundred percent aligned. And I think that’s part of what allows us to continue to move forward.”
For working dads, this is one of the most overlooked requirements of a strong marriage: knowing which things you need to agree on completely and protecting that agreement as life changes around it. You will not agree on everything. You don’t need to. But the load-bearing walls of a marriage — values, money philosophy, how you parent — need to be solid and mutually understood.
Do you and your partner know which decisions are non-negotiable for both of you? Have you ever actually said them out loud?
Don’t Shield Your Kids From Consequences — That’s How You Raise Adults
Steve’s proudest moment as a father is not a milestone. It’s a state of being. Both of his children are now living independently. His son moved six hours away by choice. His daughter relocated to Raleigh. And Steve’s response to both was the same: go do that.
“I’m proud of the fact that my kids understand that mom and dad have their back if something were to go horribly wrong. But we’re not gonna shield them from the consequences of their behavior.”
He watched other parents in his son’s youth sports years intercept every consequence — going to coaches, making excuses, removing friction from their children’s path. He and his wife made a deliberate choice to do the opposite.
The result: two young adults who are functionally independent, resilient, and capable. And Steve’s definition of parenting success is exactly that — knowing that if something happened to him and his wife tomorrow, his kids would be fine.
His final advice to new dads: “Don’t shield your children from the consequences of their behavior. They’re gonna need it later in life.”
What Working Dads Can Take From Steve Arentzoff
Steve moved his family across the country with a one-year-old and spent the next two decades navigating career transitions, relocation, business travel, and the constant pressure of being a high performer at work while trying to be a high performer at home.
He did not always get it right. But he communicated. He aligned with his partner on the things that mattered most. He let his kids feel the consequences of their decisions even when it was uncomfortable. And he let them go when the time came.
On the Working Dads Podcast, Steve is a reminder that the dads who raise independent adults are not the ones who removed every obstacle. They are the ones who let their kids learn to climb.
Working Dads is the podcast for fathers figuring out work, family, and everything in between. Hosted by Johnathan Grzybowski, co-founder of Penji. New episodes every week.
