Nick Howe was sitting in a room with his newborn son. And he knew he could not stay.
Not because he didn’t love his son. Because he loved him too much to let him grow up watching the same patterns Nick had absorbed from his own childhood — emotional shutdown, unexpressed needs, the volcanic anger that builds when men are never taught how to process what they feel.
At six months old, Cam became the reason Nick asked for a divorce. And the reason he started rebuilding everything from the ground up.
In this episode of the Working Dads Podcast, Nick — single dad, founder of Hugs, and one of the most emotionally transparent guests the show has featured — sits down with host Johnathan Grzybowski to talk about breaking generational cycles, the weekly ritual he built with his son starting at age four, and how that ritual became a company.
Breaking a Cycle Requires Seeing It First
Nick’s father expressed one emotion: anger. Volcanic and random. Small things would set him off. Nick grew up learning to suppress everything and explode when he hit his limit — the only emotional model he had ever been shown.
“I didn’t know how to healthily express my needs. What I was wanting. What I felt I was missing. I couldn’t even tell you what my values were.”
The moment Cam was born, Nick saw the cycle clearly for the first time. He could stay in an unhealthy marriage, suppress his emotional life for 18 more years, and pass the same patterns down to his son. Or he could upset a lot of people and give himself — and Cam — the chance to do it differently.
He chose the harder path.
For working dads, Nick’s story is a direct challenge: what are you passing down without knowing it? The emotional patterns you absorbed from your own father are being absorbed by your children right now. Not from your lectures. From your behavior. The way you handle stress. The way you argue. The way you shut down or stay open.
Awareness is the first step. Nick had to develop it in real time while simultaneously trying to teach it to a four-year-old.
Cups and Spoons — The Weekly Ritual That Changed Everything
When Cam was about four years old, Nick started a weekly ritual he called Cups and Spoons. Six questions, asked once a week, designed to create a safe space for his son to express what was happening inside him.
What made you happy this week? What made you sad? Did anything make you anxious? What made you upset? Did I disappoint you this week? What can I do for you next week?
That last question — did I disappoint you this week — is the one most dads would never think to ask. Nick built it in deliberately. Because he never had the space to tell his own father when he felt let down. And the silence of that created damage that took decades to unpack.
Cam’s teacher brought it up at a school event. Cam had gotten upset in class. He took a minute. And then he communicated exactly where he was and what he needed. His teacher was visibly impressed. She told Nick and Cam’s mother: that was remarkable for a kid his age.
He was ten.
For working dads: you don’t need an app or a formal program to start this. You need six questions and fifteen minutes once a week. The return on that investment will outlast anything else you do as a father.
The Thing You Build for Your Kid Might Be Your Life’s Work
Nick took the Cups and Spoons framework — the thing he built for his son at bedtime — and turned it into Hugs, a platform designed to help couples and therapists deepen emotional connection between sessions.
The company exists because of Cam. The mission exists because of what Nick didn’t have growing up. And the product is essentially a scaled version of what a single dad figured out at a kitchen table in his first years of parenting alone.
“The entrepreneur hat and the dad hat aren’t two different hats for me. They’re the same hat. My journey to become the man I want to be for my son is the embodiment of why I built this company.”
For working dads who are building something — a business, a career, a financial future — Nick offers a reframe: the most authentic thing you can build is often the solution to the problem you lived through yourself.
What did you not have as a child that your kids need? That gap might be the most important thing you ever build.
What Working Dads Can Take From Nick Howe
Nick went no contact with his parents two years ago. Changed every circle in his life within the last year and a half. Rebuilt his emotional vocabulary from scratch while teaching it simultaneously to a child who couldn’t yet tie his shoes.
And he did it alone.
His advice to dads: never stop being curious — about yourself, about your partner, about who your child is becoming. And surround yourself with people who will not let you stagnate.
On the Working Dads Podcast, Nick Howe proves that the greatest act of fatherhood is sometimes the hardest one: choosing to become a different man than the one you were shown.
Working Dads is the podcast for fathers figuring out work, family, and everything in between. Hosted by Johnathan Grzybowski, co-founder of Penji. New episodes every week.
