Joel Becker came home from work one day. His six-year-old daughter, Kennedy, looked up at him and asked: “Daddy, how many calls did you make today?”
A hundred plus, he told her.
“She was like, Wow, that’s a lot. I was like: it is. Daddy’s voice is tired. But we’re here.”
That moment — a first-grader absorbing the language and rhythm of her father’s professional life — says everything about how much kids are watching. And how much presence matters even when you think they’re not paying attention.
On the Working Dads Podcast with host Johnathan Grzybowski, Joel — VDR at Barracuda Networks, husband, and father of two girls aged six and three — shares his star reward system, his philosophy on building community as a working dad, and what it looks like to flip the switch from sales professional to fully present father every single evening.
The Star System — Teaching Kids to Earn Things Before They Expect Them
Joel and his wife built a simple reward system for their two daughters: earn stars throughout the day by making good choices, listening at school, trying their best in activities. Accumulate enough stars and pick a family game, a small toy, or a special outing.
The system works not because of the prizes. It works because of the values underneath them.
“The biggest thing we’re trying to instill is values of hard work, values of earning things. Especially with all the technology stuff out there — I want to watch the show, I want to do this. Well, how do you earn stuff? These are the steps.”
For working dads who are trying to counteract the instant-gratification culture that screens accelerate: a star system is one of the simplest tools available. It teaches children that behavior has consequences — positive ones that require effort, not just entitlement.
The family board game era Joel and his wife are currently in — Trouble, Uno, evenings without screens — is a direct product of a reward structure that made family time something the kids work toward rather than something they take for granted.
Community Is Not Something You Find. It Is Something You Build.
Joel is part of the Dadgood community. He wears the hat. He engages regularly. And he is direct about why it matters.
“You can’t just go out to your regular friends and be like, hey, I’m dealing with this. They’re gonna be like: go drop them off at a babysitter. Like, no, that’s not how it works.”
The friends who don’t have kids cannot hold the space for the conversations working dads actually need to have. Not because they don’t care — but because they don’t have the reference points. The fatigue, the guilt, the identity shift, the marriage pressure — these are not abstract concepts to a dad who is living them. To a friend who isn’t, they are.
Joel found people in the Dadgood community who lived what he lives. And the community — the check-ins, the shared stories, the dads at practice talking about whether to stay or leave early — gave him something his non-dad friends genuinely could not.
For working dads who feel isolated: the community does not have to be local. It does not have to be large. It just has to be real. Find three dads who are honest about the hard parts. That is enough to start.
The Switch From Sales Mode to Dad Mode Is a Discipline, Not a Default
Joel works in sales. Sales is an always-on profession. The deals don’t stop at 5pm. The emails keep coming. The follow-ups keep piling up.
And then he drives home and opens the front door.
“Once I answer the door, I’m just dad. I’m no longer Joel Becker the VDR at Barracuda. I’m not worrying about: did that prospect email me back? It’s just trying to put all my attention their way.”
He names the tools that help: exercising to clear his head before engaging with the family. Having other outlets — the Dadgood community, bowling league — so the emotional load is not all carried by his wife and kids. And letting go of control over the things he cannot change when he walks through that door.
“I can’t try to control every situation or their moods the second I walk in the door.”
For working dads who struggle to leave work at work: the transition is a skill that has to be built deliberately. It does not happen automatically. Build the ritual. Whether that is a walk, a workout, a phone-in-car rule, or simply sitting in the driveway for five minutes before going inside — create a transition that signals to your brain: work is over.
What Working Dads Can Take From Joel Becker
Joel has two daughters who are watching everything — including how many calls their dad makes. He built a star system that teaches them to earn what they want. He found his people in an online community that understands what the daily grind of working dad life actually looks like. And he walks through that door every evening and puts the badge down.
His parting advice to dads: don’t do it alone. Find people who get it. Go further together.
On the Working Dads Podcast, Joel Becker is proof that a present working dad is not one who has solved the work-life balance equation. He is one who keeps trying to every single day.
Working Dads is the podcast for fathers figuring out work, family, and everything in between. Hosted by Johnathan Grzybowski, co-founder of Penji. New episodes every week.
